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07 October 2010 @ 11:17 am
Conservative femanism? Call it what you will...  
So I have been sitting here for a while pondering life, listening to Coldplay- which is always handy for times of thought.

I have been viewed with caution in class a few times this year when discussing women's rights and the idea that feminism is not and should not be a universal right. I know I should be all for women's rights and equality, especially if I am interested in gender studies, but it really is more deep than that. Feminism, isn't as black and white as the papers will have you believe, it isn't as simple as making feminism universally applicable. Take a step back for a moment, this ideology is completely western in nature, it is nothing more than a concept women in Europe and America have dictated as being essential in every society. In reality, these women do not speak to everyone, this idea of universal feminist values is not necessarily tangible in all cultures. Take Islam for example, not only do a great many Muslim women agree and support the suppression of their gender but the idea of feminism, in the way that westerners perceive it, is not consistent with the Islamic faith, Allah (whilst various interpretations have arisen) dictated that women are subordinate to men, whilst they are equal in human decency, they are the protected sex.  Anyone who believes in liberty and left-wing politics surely has a sense of cultural awareness and tolerance, however, with feminism and like issues, there is a general mistake that female equality is absolute.  In Europe and America (I count Australia and other 'western' societies in this geographical definition) feminism is viewed with simplicity, it is irrefutably necessary for women to have equality within society, anything less does not meet the standards set by us. Little room is given for religious sensitivity or flexibility, instead centuries of cultural beliefs are disregarded and overcast with what 'we' have decided is politically and socially correct.  The notion of equality is indoctrinated with European beliefs and ideals, variations of this are not inferior. In many other countries, including Islamic States, interpretations of feminism have been constructed and developed that sits agreeably with  the Qur'an.  If another country or culture adopts a variant form of feminism, it is not wrong, or sexist, it is merely different. To inflict the common ideology of universal feminism on others identifies the 'whites' as the 'Knowers',  and reaks of cultural illiteracy and western superiority. What we need to do, as a western society, is embrace cultural differences without placing our ideals on a pedestal, without dictating our beliefs and values on others, demeaning their race as unequal or 'backward' upon the realization that they have not met our standards.

Anyway, Violet Hill just came on and it is the single most nostalgic song for me in regards to England and my life there. It feels like a distant dream now, living with Louise and Bex on the Thames and watching the snow settle on the lampposts, wondering if Louise and I will get the day off. *nostalgic sigh* I remember my babies, they still send me photos and emails and are amazingly grown up, even though it's only been 8+ months.

My new job is frustrating me and is making me long for my old life on an island that ISN'T secluded from the rest of the world. The little girl I look after is extremely underdeveloped languistically and socially for her age, which worries me. Her father has run off somewhere and her mum seems more interested in attending balls and functions than tthe fact that her daughter can barely string a sentence together. She is a gorgeous little girl but I fear that Autism may have something to do with it, my psych friend and I have diagnosed her...aren't we grown up psychologists LOL.

Friends are another thing that are making me frustrated. I love my friends, but lately I have come to realize that, hey, I don't actually have to keep mundane, immature and vindictive people in my life just to stay included...I actually have an array of friends all over the world from children to mature adults, from sociologists to cleaners....I have an amazing and eclectic group of friends that I might not speak to but know that when I see them again I will be welcomed by with opened arms. So I have decided not to bother with people now, I am not going to play chasey anymore.

It was hard when I first arrived in Melbourne, even Mary sort of swallowed when she was speaking to me and asked me if everything was ok and if she could do anything for me. I was alone apart from my father who...if any of you have heard before, is a 1st class twat, and even he is in another state. II also ound it hard to make friends because I worked all the time, I disliked my job, my home, my subjects  and I hated the Australian culture. The last part is still true but now so many things have changed for the better.

Something that has really been bugging me lately though, especially at my uni because they are all so wealthy, is the fact that very rarely do you come across someone my age who actually gets life! So many teens/young adults have life made for them, they are supported financially by their parents, they are mollycoddled by mum and dad. I am not saying that I have some terrible arduous life, but it's hard sometimes...trying to work to support myself, pay rent and bills, work out my mother's life for her, be my sister and mother's counseling service, have Bex so far away and somehow save to see her and go on exchange as well as eat!. There was one week a few months ago when my dad phoned and asked how I was,I had just had to spend a lot of money on moving into my new house so  I told him that I didn't even have enough money to buy groceries. His response was to laugh and say that I would be fine, just to keep working. This is a man who owns 2 HUGE homes (if you have seen Mary's, imagine that times 2) a nice car and has a cellar full of wine valued into the high thousands, not to mention has been given numerous financial handouts from my grandparents....anyway, the point I was trying to get at is, those who are given the fairly cotton padded route in life have the habit of annoying me and I frequently find myself having little time for their lack of understanding and knowledge of the 'real' world....It takes a lot to be independent young adult in this society and I am proud that I have lived overseas and held down jobs and  juggled a  job + uni +a  personal life which can only be described as insane. I am also proud of those who are doing the same or are going through an even harder time and keeping it together, I think that it shows character and you should give yourself an amazing pat on the back! or even better, go out and have an amazing night of hot, glamorous (is there such a thing?) sex!


I think that is enough rambling for one day, next, I will speak on Indigenous rights and the 'authentic' perception many westerners become trapped in...I may also touch upon the entire notion of westerners as the 'knowers' and how this needs to be constantly intercepted and re-evaluated when approaching cultural issues.

Bee
xxx
 
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Emmastarbuck1980 on October 7th, 2010 08:07 pm (UTC)
Hello! Your little girl may have probs with her hearing, I had a boy once who was 3 when I started and also could barely speak, he used to have awful tantrums because he simply couldn't communicate, he wouldn't even make eye contact. I too thought he had autism but it turned out he had had glue ear since forever and his parents had done jack all about it. This was only picked up on after he started nursery, shortly after I started. Parents were frakwits anyway and had no time for either of their kids. He had gromits put in and his ears cleared up and so did his speech and learning.

Nostalgia! Yea I get it sometimes, for my old job in Forest Hill, which I hated but it was a family and I was close with them. I also miss living at home but wouldn't dream of going back. I do know how you feel about how your life is very different from your uni friends, some people have to work as well as go to uni and no all of us have it handed to us on a plate. People like that irritate me too because they just don't GET it and they can't until they've done it. Yes it does show character, that you work hard and it makes you stronger too. Would you ever come back? May I just remind you how much you did like the UK?! Maybe that helps to remember the crap stuff except M&S food! LOL

I know how hard it is to be apart from the person you love, you know that and I am sorry you have to go through it again. I think you are a stronger person than I because I am not sure I could do it again. Maybe you need older friends, who know what life is about?

englishwanabeenglishwanabe on October 8th, 2010 11:44 am (UTC)
Hi!

Yes I also wondered about her hearing, but if anything she seems to be hyper-sensitive to noise. She was terrible today, she started to make combustion sounds (lol) and hit herself when she couldnt replicate a lego statue I had made but wouldn't allow me to help her at all. She doesn't seem to be able to follow basic instructions and she hates people touching her. The list goes on really, sometimes she behaves like an average 4 year old and other times I just think...wow.

It's really hard leaving jobs that you become attatched to! D and B's nanny was fired about a month ago because she lost B in Greenwich Park and the police were called. I looked after them when I was over in July and noticed quite a few things that werent ok with me but ddn't pass anything on as I didn't feel it was my place...the whole issue makes me miss them more!....it's a good thing you never took that job with Rachel, she gave birth about 6 months after you left and is on maternity leave again! poped the baby out in 20 mins or something at home before the ambulance arrived.

Nope I would never come back to London, unless I had a lot of money. I think London is only tolerable if you have the funds to live the London lifestyle, i.e. the apartment close tot he city and going out 5 nights a week. I miss parts of it and wont stay in Australia after I finish my degree but I have to choose where I am going to settle. Maybe America or perhaps somewhere else. I am off to live in the US next year for exchange to test the waters there so that should be interesting.

LOL m and s food..wow how I miss it! you can't get ready meals here really. Did you mean to say 'may I remind you how much you DIDN'T like the UK?'

being apart from Bex is hard work and makes me appreciate her so much more...although I think in some ways it's been good for me to get my head clear.
Emmastarbuck1980 on October 8th, 2010 12:27 pm (UTC)
OMG!!!! After a year being in my job, I didn't see Rachel AT ALL now I keep on bumping into her ALL the time! I have to keep avoiding her! I told her I didn't want the job because it was too far away from Gwich! I am sure she now knows I am working in Blkheath. I just couldn't stand that kid. I saw her yesterday parked on a bench by the side of the road near to where I work. Reading with him and the middle one was just wandering around near the road! I bet he refused to walk home anymore so she stopped and started reading with him. o_O Baby is still in the Phil & Teds coffin so I don't think its 6mths yet, looks tiny still but yes I am well glad I am OUT of it!

OMG! The nanny lost B???? Did you know her? I don't see many of the other nannies anymore. My boss is going to give birth nxt mth. I am just hoping it goes smoothly with her around all the time.

I had the same thing with the family I told you about yday. I was with them 3yrs purely because I was worried about what happened to them when I wasnt there. They were neglected in more ways than one. You just have to put it out your mind because at the end of the day they arent your kids and unless your prepared to get the authorities involved, its the parents responsibility.

You could move back to somewhere other than London! The UK is a big place with much nicer cities! I think you will get a shock with the US, its backward and bigoted. Yes sometimes you need to be apart from those you love to appreciate them, helps you to work stuff out in your own head too.

: ) xx
englishwanabeenglishwanabe on October 8th, 2010 01:36 pm (UTC)
she gave birth in ummmm...May this year...All I know is that she knew she was pregnant when she hired the other nanny and didn't warn her. That boy was HORRIBLE I couldn't stand him at all and she gave in so much it would have been unbearable.

Yep she lost B, also left her numerous times with my nanny friends without telling anyone where she was going. B was so badly behaved when I got back because apparently the nanny had no rules for them! B and D begged me to be their nanny again which was nice...I think they are happy with their new nanny now, all reports sound good so far thank god!

In terms of your job, you're game staying on even though she is going to be going on maternity leave, remind me why she needs a nanny if she will be home? lol. My friday boss is insane, she is very sweet but she obsesses over her daughter who is 1 and so now the daughter screams every time she is not being held by mum, which makes it very difficult for me and I have risen the issue a few times...thing is..she is about to ive birth also! good luck with that one lol, she has NO idea how hard she is making life for herself and for her daughter!

The prob with the UK is the nice cities aren't populated enough. I love over 3 million ppl and no other cities in the UK have that. I do love edinbrugh though so possibly there. I dislike British culture though....

I am sure you're right about the US, but I have to try it or I will always wonder! Besides, this way I can easily attend cons lol.

xxxx